Interrupting the Cycle - The daily reset.
When we are stuck in the survival cycle we often feel detached from our lives we are going through the motions our bodies are dysregulated in fight, flight or freeze mode ( We will explore this further in the future). We aren’t functioning to the best of our ability, we aren’t enjoying our lives to their fullest potential. We live the survival cycle out over and over again. So today we are going to talk about why it is important to interrupt the cycle and how we can do this.
Have you ever felt like your life is so busy that you can’t live?
I have often felt this, the daily grind of normality that keeps up so occupied that we barely have time to reflect or evaluate what we want in life. Or if we do know what we want we strive on top of the already busy life we need in order to try and reach that ultimate place of fulfilment that we believe our desire will bring. Now we are human beings and it is normal for us to have desires and go after them, the problem begins when we are not enjoying our present life because of hopes of that desire.
If you want more detail on this I go into the survival cycle more in my blog - The survival Cycle Why we Chase, Escape and Repeat.
Why do we need to interrupt this cycle?
Because life can be lived more intentionally and be more fulfilling now even when you are not quite where you hoped you’d be in life.
The aim of interrupting the cycle is to ensure we are living more intentionally, choosing more peace, purpose and joy. Being equipped to handle the inevitable challenges of life and reaching our goals in a healthy and sustainable way.
So how do we interrupt the cycle?
By using this framework I set out below.
Pause - The first thing we must do is stop. Just for a moment and focus on our mind, body and spirit. How are we feeling, what are we thinking? At the moment we are not changing anything don’t try to clear your mind or force the feelings away just be aware and feel.
Presence- is the next step in the framework. I use the popular technique of What can I see? name 5 things, What can I touch? touch 4 things, What can I hear? listen for 3 things, What can I smell? 2 things and taste one thing.
Surrender- We then come to a place where it should be easier to surrender our worries, our fears or our to do list up to a greater power. To shift the weight from our shoulders. You can do this by letting go physically of any tension in your body and breathing out. I give it up to God I remember I don’t have to do this alone.
Reconnect -This brings us nicely then to reconnection. For me this is God, he is my firm foundation and brings a peace in my heart beyond understanding. I usually do my Bible read and listen to some worship music, talk to him and see what He is leading me to. (This is when it is a morning reset, if it is a moment during the day it will be much simpler than this). For you it may be that you reconnect to your values and what matters to you or a higher power. The point is that we see our problems or desires as smaller once we have reconnected.
Gratitude- We should now be in a better place to name what we are thankful for and feel it. Truly feel the feeling of gratitude fill our hearts not just a list of things because it is another task we must complete.
Purpose or Priority - Now we get to think about our goals. What is our purpose or priority right now. What is it that is taking precedence in our lives that we need to act on? Remember this coming from a place of aligned actions not forcing not hustling not doing it all.
Intentional Actions- We then think about the actions we can take toward that purpose or priority. What is the next step? What action am I going to take today toward my purpose? You then have to follow through.
This is just a quick overview of the framework and I will go deeper into this in future blogs and podcasts. Because although the framework is one of the tools there is more to this. We need to use the framework to help us to build habits that are more aligned with our purpose and our priorities. We need to ensure then that we are living we are making intentional choices daily from moment to moment, living connected with peace as our foundation. Again this is something we will explore more.
I have struggled with the survival cycle for many years not to the extreme I did during infertility. But I still sometimes buy into the belief that the next desire will be the ultimate fulfilment. This frame work is helping me to remember that what is most important is feeling peace in the ordinary. I am walking with you on this, I am not perfect but I have come a long way from the girl who was emotionally eating and binge watching television. I am also not the girl who used to busy herself with social plans to avoid being alone or sitting with uncomfortable feelings. I have built habits that have stuck and are consistent in my eating and exercise. I have found my current purpose and I am working toward it whilst trying to enjoy now!
If this is something you would like to do; Today I want you to consider having a go at interrupting the cycle.
What can you surrender? What is your current purpose?
For now, Live intentionally